Lumière

pure as dove white.

he’s radiating.

the more i see of you.

the brighter it gets.

 

the sun on cloudy days.

the moon in darkness.

something comforting.

someone pinch me.

 

you’re a light.

that never goes out.

the pressure and privilege.

is mine.

 

can’t deny the truth.

you can do anything.

already living proof.

continue to illuminate.

 

hold me like a fire.

the warmth of your touch.

your heart, makes me feel alive.

like the flame of your perseverance.

 

a blaze.

that thrills.

fit of sparks.

whimsically electric.

 

connected currents.

burning golden.

like the flare.

of the star.

 

those rays.

streaming in.

bouncing off the mirrors.

dancing in every room.

 

and that laugh.

oh, that laugh.

enlightens my soul.

my heart smiles.

 

you are luminous.

you are all and more.

let me be your, Lumière.

i’d sure like to give it to you.

“You, sir, are a ray of sunshine.” – Percy Jackson

nature

 

upbound.

you, like a ship.

with sails white and pure.

yet weathered and torn.

 

currently adrift.

anchorless.

 

proof of battle.

and storm scars.

a survivor.

 

ballast broken.

a new hurricane.

category six.

 

this vessel has endured.

everything.

another parlay.

 

high winds.

rogue waves.

pelting rain.

 

lost and confused.

sinking.

 

not ready to drown.

to the stern.

looking to rise.

 

the North Star spotted.

to the lee side.

unleash the buoys.

 

a new breath.

the strength and resiliency.

the other stars dance.

 

sailing by night.

gaining tenacity.

rising above the swell.

 

a flashing spectacle.

a lighthouse.

designed for the ship.

 

offers anchor.

sees the ship restored.

offering safe harbor.

 

like the tide.

storms come and go.

the safety of the pier, permanent.

 

“Much to cast down, much to build, much to restore.” – TS Eliot

magnifique-wreck

under the moon, on the bridge.

the night is young.

the air warm.

the magic whimsical.

alignment destined.

 

a Unicorn.

true Unicorn.

blazing trails.

lucky Penny at his side.

 

it’s at the bridge.

a complete stop.

there’s a splash under.

a double take is done.

 

a merman appears.

or is it Aquaman?

nonetheless, he’s in awe.

this Unicorn is a myth.

 

one leans down.

one reaches up.

under the moon.

the middle of the bridge.

 

it’s electric.

two worlds.

two creatures.

transformation.

 

the Unicorn.

now a warrior.

with rainbow armor.

quite striking.

 

he is kind.

he is patient.

he is thoughtful.

he is beautiful.

 

the mermaid.

also a warrior.

with scale-like protection.

he’s glistening.

 

one with a scar down his back.

a previous battle wound.

the other with an internal scar.

roar of the riptide.

 

each with eyes.

like pools you could drown in.

their lips together.

creating currents.

 

it’s magic.

it’s natural.

a fairytale?

two myths, one existence.

“Dance with Fairies. Ride a Unicorn. Swim with Mermaids. Chase Rainbows.” – Unknown

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tulsa time ii

it had to have been those eyes.

had my accelerator going.

at full speed.

 

speedometer maxed.

lyrics loud.

storms ahead.

 

no warning.

no sirens.

only rhythm.

 

a joyous ride.

reached a dead end.

it’s gloomy.

 

no tunes.

the record skips.

it’s broken.

 

it wasn’t always.

it couldn’t have been.

it sang, beautifully.

 

the field is clear.

minimal debris.

twisters are gone.

 

sky isn’t clear yet.

the sun will rise.

music will begin.

 

until then.

listening.

sky gazing.

 

round and round.

now seems like a tale.

i know it was magic.

 

hold you close.

wish you well.

the long goodbye.

“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” – Dalai Lama

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Wandering the White Dunes

2019 couldn’t close out with at least one more trip. I’ve been bereaved on a budget lately, so this one took some serious brainstorming. As a disclaimer, this was the first year that I didn’t go home for the Christmas season. Unfortunately, flights were just too expensive. I’d already secured the time off from work – and I wasn’t about to sit at home for a week. So, I looked into what was on my list that could be within driving distance and my dog would be able to tag along for all adventures.

My quest to visit all 50 states and being based out of Texas, I knew my options were limited to visit somewhere new. It would be between Arkansas and New Mexico. I’d read about the White Sand Dunes in New Mexico beforehand and knew that was where I wanted to go. It was impromptu planning and jump in the car and go kind of trip.

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Living in central Texas, I’ve ventured to the northern, southern, and eastern parts of the state (could all be their own states), but I’d never traveled to the western part of the state – mainly because I’ve always heard there is nothing there.

I’d known since moving here, I eventually wanted to make my way to Marfa, Texas. Marfa is a small desert city in west Texas, known as an arts hub. In addition to displays and exhibitions, Prada Marfa, a permanent sculptural art installation is located just north of Marfa in Valentine, TX. This would be a pit stop.

I packed our bags Saturday night and quickly booked a room for Sunday night at the Magnuson Hotel & Suites in Alamogordo, NM – about 15 minutes from the dunes. *I also want to note my excitement for the new Little Women film. I love Director Greta Gerwig and thought the cast was amazing choices. I’d never read the book or seen any of the prior films. I bought the book on audio and realized how perfect this would be. It takes about 19 hours to listen to and in total that would be about how much time I’d be in the car.

Sunday morning, we packed the car and set out for Marfa. I’ll note that I’m very lucky that I have a dog that loves riding in the car. I hit play on Little Women, immersing myself into the lives of the March sisters, while we drove the seven hours to see this Prada art installation.

Stopping in Fort Stockton to grab a bite to eat and refill on gas, we reached Prada Marfa by about 3pm. Naturally it was pretty busy with other tourists there for the same reason. We admired and had a quick photo shoot ourselves, then headed further west.

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I will say that it is true, there is nothing along the roads of west Texas, but it is a beautiful drive – very calming and phenomenal scenery. My own ignorance, I had no idea there were so many mountains in west Texas, or maybe they’re canyons… We had about three and a half hours left in our drive until we arrived in Alamogordo. Our last two hours were in the dark, which was a strange feeling being somewhere brand new with no lighting. I went through my first Border Patrol. I’m still a little stumped, simply because I always thought those were only on the border and I’d crossed a state line. Alas, we made it through and arrived in Alamogordo around 7pm. (I’d forgotten there would be a time change to Mountain Time).

We checked in, unloaded the car and set off to grab a bite to eat. I picked up something to go so I could take it back to the room and plan the following day’s itinerary. After some preparation, I decided to finish where I was in Little Women and go to bed. *The book is split into two parts, however the audio is split into eight. I finished part four and drifted asleep.

My phone died in the night so we got a bit of a late start on Monday. I grabbed a quick bite from the continental breakfast, and we drove the 15 minutes to the White Sands National Monument. We were about two miles from the dunes when they came into view.

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The website for the dunes is very concise and thorough, so after paying our $10 and receiving our park maps, we were ready. I’ll mention that I dressed in plenty of layers and packed ample water and snacks for us. From outside the park to into the dunes, it dropped over 20 degrees. It was about 33 degrees while we hiked, however with the sun and appropriate clothing, I was never cold.

There are four laid out trail options within the dunes, each one more challenging than the last. We started on number two, the Dune Life Nature Trail – in hopes of catching some sights on the wildlife. Although, we didn’t see much wildlife, that was quickly forgotten. These dunes were easily one of the most beautiful and peaceful places I’ve ever been. This trail took about 45 minutes to complete and we then went to trail three, the Backcountry Camping Trail (this is the trail you can camp overnight on, we intended to do this, but it fills up fast and didn’t want to chance it).

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This trail was extraordinary – we may have taken a wrong turn or two, but we didn’t care. The beauty and serenity offered, quickly had us hiking to the top of a dune and taking some time to appreciate where we were and being together. Disclaimer, my dog is this awesome chill free spirit who is down for whatever I drag him to.

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I lay in the sand, completing a few sand angels, gazed for miles and miles without seeing a single person and just admired Mother Nature.

We completed the trail, spent our last moments in the park and decided it was time to get back on the road. Yes, this was a short trip and I spent more time in the car than anywhere – however, any amount of time spent at the dunes would have been worth any drive. Simply put, it was amazing.

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Hitting play on Little Women, we set back out for Austin. Two quick pit stops to use the restroom and having to go through another Border Patrol (this time in Texas), we stopped back in Fort Stockton to fill up on gas and stretch our legs.

We arrived back in Austin at about 10:30pm, minutes after completing Little Women and reeling on how we spent our morning and afternoon.

This trip holds a special place in my heart for multiple reasons. This was my first holiday season not surrounded by loved ones, New Mexico marked my 25th state (half way there), the dunes were also named the 62nd National Park the same week, and because I didn’t think I’d be able to make another trip happen in 2019.

I will most definitely return to the dunes, for any amount of time – to relish in the splendor and tranquility that surrounds one there.

“I love road trips, I love driving, I love finding little towns. I just think it’s the best way to travel.” – Scarlett Johansson

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tulsa time.

a surprise encounter.

delighted i went.

fortunate you were there.

ten words exchanged.

 

you found me.

what courage.

the move is mine.

i make it.

 

the respect.

the politeness.

you’re beautiful.

simply the best.

 

i’m in a whirlwind.

it’s like a tornado.

this is a new experience.

unlike anything i’ve felt.

 

i’d been packing ice around my heart.

for so long.

i didn’t know how to make it melt.

your midwestern heat.

 

you continue to surprise me.

it’s time to two-step.

or is this one a three-step.

the record plays Tulsa Time.

 

the feelings you’ve ignited.

i’ve never known.

how to process.

keep leaning in.

 

one moment.

twenty moments.

feels like a thousand moments.

i’m hopeless.

 

you take my breath away.

i’m in awe.

you didn’t mean to.

and i didn’t mean to fall.

 

it’s ridiculous.

what is this feeling.

how did it happen.

and so fast.

 

the fire is burning.

the ice has melted.

swept in the twister.

blinded.

 

it’s as if time stopped.

the fire went out.

the record stopped playing.

dancing on my own.

 

another new experience.

unfamiliar feeling.

melancholy.

downward spiral.

 

uncertainty.

what changed.

questions remain.

some stay the same.

 

our rhythm.

simple pleasures.

our gaze.

shall we runaway?

“Pleasure of love lasts but a minute. Pain of love lasts a lifetime.” – Bette Davis

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Surfing & Shifting.

Ahoy mates! I felt compelled to give you all an update on those lofty 2019 goals I posted back in January – especially for those of you that tossed your own overboard.

After crushing my 2018 goals, I was very excited to conquer this year as well… However, as the year has progressed and I continued going back to them – I realized something. I created those because I felt I needed to. In reality that wasn’t at all what I needed this year. 2019 has been such an ebb and flow year for me. Circling back to that long list of goals was something that ultimately was stressing me out – so I threw them overboard.

I’m not throwing those goals away; obviously they meant something to me. They now will be something I possibly have already achieved, will at a later time, or will return to a year to two. And that’s ok.

Moving forward, I’m going to approach my goals as dreams instead. Looking at a goal, I feel I need a strategy and an objective to achieve it. For those that know me, know I’m less logic based and more emotion centric – so going after my aspirations in a more imaginative way seems what is best for me right now.

Shifting ones mindset and resetting is integral to change and growth. 2019 has been a year so far – mostly great, a few scares and wipeouts in between.

I shock myself with how much I’ve grown and changed in just the last year. I forget to take a moment and appreciate how far I’ve come. I’m aware of how much further I have to go, but that doesn’t diminish the self-progress I’ve made thus far.

I’ve recently wanted to re-balance and find myself again. I think it’s easy to lose oneself when life is happening at full speed and you find yourself gasping for air to stay afloat. That has been me lately and I’ve decided it’s time for a slow down.

This blog addition is really for me to simply say, life has been moving too fast and perhaps that’s why I haven’t been posting too much. I’m reeling myself back in. If you’re finding yourself feeling in a similar boat, take a step back and let the winds catch your sails and send them back to you.

Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” – Anne Lamott

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listen.

trigger a memory.

living in the live capital.

every note.

 

instant escape.

normally under table.

keeping me stable.

 

i keep you on.

cuts me deep.

patches me up.

 

knock me down.

bring me up.

the beat has saved me.

 

i turn to you.

blast the amp.

one heart beat.

 

hanging by a string.

pound the key.

pulls me.

 

that voice.

gives me a choice.

hang on longer.

 

begin in the valley.

sit or stand.

praise at the peak.

 

rises and sets.

over and over.

over and over.

The true beauty of music is that it connects people.” – Roy Ayers

Sound-waves

simplicity.

hidden.

behind closed doors.

blinds shut.

lights off.

 

why?

why can’t we?

others can.

it isn’t fair.

 

holding hands.

a kiss

in public.

spotted.

 

berated.

beaten.

savagery.

for being us.

 

nothing is done.

this is the world.

this is life.

it isn’t right.

 

recovery.

different for everyone.

external healing.

internal struggles.

 

nightmares.

repeat.

safety?

normalcy?

 

we’re people.

we have feeling.

we love.

like everyone else.

 

we deserve.

affection.

love.

public displays.

 

without opposition.

without assault.

without a second glance.

… one day.

To deny people their human rights is to challenge their very humanity.” – Nelson Mandela

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faceless.

i see you.

everywhere i go.

your face on others.

 

at the grocery store.

at the gym.

at concerts.

 

your height.

your hair color.

your face shape.

 

it stops me.

dead in my steps.

knocks the wind out my lungs.

 

this is my narrative.

i am brave.

i own this outcome.

 

i still cannot stop it.

the fear.

always looking over my shoulder.

 

what you did.

what you took from me.

years ago.

 

that day haunts me.

every suggestion for healing.

boxes checked.

 

will it ever go away?

i guess i should move.

seems unfair.

 

others catch my stares.

when i am looking.

i briefly saw you.

 

how are you everyone?

go away.

so many faces.

 

i have to know.

when will the last time i see you.

be the last time?

 

“If you fall behind, run faster. Never give up, never surrender, and rise up against the odds.” – Jesse Jackson

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